This Message Will Self Destruct....

I seem to be on an inadvertent course of self destruction and personal maiming these past few days. My brain chemistry is really improving, with consequent uplifting of outlook, but I am experiencing some extra clumsy moments physically, maybe to keep me from getting too uplifted all at once.
I have poked my thumb with an awl, broken a fingernail off down about as far as it possibly could break, popped myself in the arm with the (HOT) face of my Blazer torch, brushed the tip of my left index finger into the big torch flame, had a hot glass bit shoot up my sweater sleeve and dropped my ring mandrel onto my foot which fortunately was cushioned by an Ugg boot. Today, to cap this off, I inadvertently, thoroughly stuck the first two fingers of my left hand into the flame. Not just randomly, it was part of a purposeful gesture, I assure you, but certainly not my intent. It was not on my list of things to do today.

&%%$##!!

There are definitely no germs left on my fingertips. There might not be any fingerprints left on my fingertips.

Ow.

If the underpants bomber experienced anything like this sensation in his boy-parts when he ignited his undie-bomb, I figure he may have had a good start on appropriate punishment.

Big-Bad-A-Boom Beads

This last picture was taken as I began my table layout for the upcoming show...just to be sure everything flows well. I am so lucky to have my helper there...on the table...supervising!

More New Stuff

Some new vessels on handmade fine silver chains, and a parliament of owls!

Sunshine After Shadow

Starting to feel better.

Some New Work

Lampworked glass and fine silver, with sapphires, freshwater pearls, citrine, emeralds, tourmalines and garnets. You can click on the pics to make them bigger.

Well, *&#!!

I hardly ever watch tv any more. My attention span for boring tv is really, really short. I cancelled the cable at the apartment, though we've kept it here at the lakehouse. I do adore Lost, and Jon Stewart and I have a little soft spot for Anderson Cooper, and House, I'm glad I can watch those online, or when I am here at the lake.
However.
We planned to watch the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Olympics last night, and we were really looking forward to it. 15 minutes before the start time...the cable/internet went out. I was in the middle of an IM conversation with Anne talking about how excited we were, and pfffththh. No cable or internet. A call to the cable company gave me a recorded message saying that "the city of C------ was experiencing an outage". "City" makes me laugh...it's our nearest inhabited locality and it has (it think) 4 street lights (not stoplights...streetlights) and 3 stop signs. One store which is a combination variety/antiques/hot dog stand/wood furniture and BEER store. Nonetheless, no cable and not long after we lost power too. So it was reading by flashlights, and communing with our pioneer ancestors, and no patriotic festivities for us.
The bits I've caught online this morning look great, but poor Wayne Gretzky, couldn't they have given the poor guy an Olympic themed umbrella as he carried the torch through the pouring rain? Dang! I think it must have been hard to think noble patriotic historically significant torch-lighting thoughts with cold rain dripping down the back of his neck!

A Poem

Frozen Pies

cat eyes

Surprise!

Working

There are vessels in the kiln, and vessel lids, and owls and fat alien pods. Can't wait until morning to see them. Did you know that many colors of glass look completely different when they are hot? The yellow ochre glass I used for the pods turns deep red when it's hot, and though I have a fairly good idea of what they should look like, it's always, always fun to take them out of the kiln the next day.
I should amend that...in all honesty, there have been quite a few beads over the years that elicit "What the hell was I thinking??" the next day. But usually I don't anneal those ones, they go into the water can where they blast themselves into fragments with satisfying clouds of steam.

Report from Quality Control:

Huh. The E-6000 glue: no good for vessel collars.
I try to pull, poke, prod and otherwise torment the stuff I make, I'd rather have a piece come off in my hand than in a customers. The fine silver collar I attached to a pretty pink pod vessel 2 days ago didn't make the cut. I pulled it right apart just now without much difficulty. Back to good old 2 part epoxy, which holds up much better to "chemically solder" my stuff. (That's a fancy way of saying "glue" which sounds more difficult and complex, haha).
Lots of new necklaces to be photographed if we get a few moments of sunshine. It seems that recently the sun only shines if I am leaving to go to the dentist or in the shower, or cooking dinner. When I am all ready to take pictures it's dull and grey. I'll keep my fingers crossed!
On the brain front, progress is being made in the form of new meds which aren't making my hands shake, and hopefully will restore my balance. I am cautiously optimistic!

Editing Out The Really Boring But Accurate Blog Entries

I thought I would point out that I have actually been blogging every single day for the past few months, but I hadn't mentioned that my special new automatic editing program, called "DepressO-Delete" automatically edits or removes all overwhelmingly depressing entries. On the days that I feel like crap I just write a long gloomy post about how "Today, I feel like crap", and the new editing program quickly and easily deletes that for me.
Since the past few months have been particularly crappy, I realize the editing has left a fairly minimal blog!
I opted not to add in the optional "The Infinite Universe is Just Lovely and I am Attracting Money, Fame and Oprah to my Ultimate Inner Being" post-generating feature, because, well, I am stubborn about living in the real world, warts and all.

It's incredibly frustrating to realize that all of the effort and willpower I can exert will not cure depression. I'm appreciative of even a fleeting moment of optimism during a day, of a good night's sleep, of things that make me laugh (the cat asleep in my overnight bag), of a few unbroken hours of concentration. I'm grateful I can create and I can learn. I fight to keep faith that I will be well.