Another Boulder Removed From The Mountain

Yesterday I completed the final phase of an ongoing task, which I had been dreading for sometime. I did NOT want to do this thing, but it had to be done and I could no longer put it off. I am the only person who could do it, and as I said, I did not want to.
So I did it.
Nauseous with anxiety, sweaty and dizzy with the June heat, dragging my feet, reluctant to the core, I did it.
And it was easy.
I projected a positive attitude which I was NOT feeling inside, kept my head high, smiled, stood up for myself, and did it.
And when it was done, limp with relief, alone with my thoughts, I realized I had made the task much larger in my mind that it really was. It doesn't matter whether a fear is reasonable...or not...only our perception of it, and I'm learning that the perception CAN be persuaded into a manageable form. This is a huge, helpful, blessed thing to learn. The universe loves us, whether we realize it or not...and it will almost always meet us more than half way when we are really really struggling.
The next fear will be easier to conquer. It's also a huge one, but I will do it.

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

--Frank Herbert


A Path out of Shadows