Saturday, January 9, 2010

Twilight, A Review

If this hadn't been an online audiobook from the library, I'd have cheerfully pitched it out the window.
I tried, honestly I did. I listen to a lot of audiobooks (A LOT, sometimes 3 or 4 a week), and thought I would give this a listen. It's almost impossible to go to any retail space, of almost any kind, without seeing some sort of Twilight merchandise. Was I missing out on something?
No, I was not.
It wasn't the reading, which is by Ilyana Kadushin. It's the prose itself. Any author who describes her hero as having an "alabaster brow" needs a good swift kick in the butt. And nothing...ever...really... happens, Bella just drones on and on and on...
I've listened to just over half of it and I just can't take any more. Gag. And don't tell me, "Oh, it gets better later in the book" because I just don't care. Even the Most Exciting Moments are just...meh.
In the words of Dorothy Parker: "Constant reader throwed up".


me said...

lmao! i actually read the books and they're truly dreadful - only curiosity re the vampire/werewolf story kept me going - i skipped whole sections while rolling my eyes.

if you care enough, skip to the last book Breaking Dawn - it's still annoying but less so that the others. ;-D

Gail said...

LOL...tell me how your really feel

Karen Elmquist said...

Me...truly dreadful is very well put!!

Gail, you know I will! Looking forward to Santa Fe!